Almost in Womb - The Journey

In life, we are always moving forward, almost getting somewhere. And most of the time getting there. Our day is full of almosts. Almost ready. Almost at work. Almost done this task. Almost done my coffee. Almost there. Either you haven't left yet, or you're almost there, and then you're "here". We plan our lives out, create goals, and figure out how we're going to achieve them - we'll almost achieve that goal, even if it's 5 or 10 years down the road.

My journey of infertility has been a very long "almost". We never spoke about it until recently. We were always almost there. This month it will work. Okay, now this month it will work. THIS month, it has to work. It's going to work. Well, for over 4 years, it has almost worked. For the first 2 years we didn't even tell our parents. We were always so close to simply being like everyone else we knew and would break the exciting news that I was pregnant... Instead we broke the news that I had had a 2nd miscarriage (and since that horrible day in August 2014, there has been no pregnancy at all).

For 3 years I have endured IVF treatments. That's 6 egg retrieval surgeries (almost 7 coming up), and around 15 embryo transfers. For the most part, the embryos look good. My uterus just can't hold them. For 4 years I have almost had an embryo in my womb, that I hoped would bloom into a healthy, beautiful baby.


We went public with our infertility in October 2016 on facebook. It wasn't an easy decision, but we reached the stage where we needed all the help we could get in looking for a gestational surrogate. The result was an outpouring of love and support and a community of people I never knew existed. We're still looking and hope to find the right woman soon to carry our future child into this beautiful and crazy world.

This blog is going to be about my experiences with infertility, the system, finding a surrogate, and the ups and downs of living with infertility in a society obsessed with baby-making. I hope to bring in some humour and lots of optimism. And I hope that us infertiles can come together and support each other on this crazy rollercoaster.